something borrowed

Weddings. What can I say about weddings?

It is....
crazy,
exciting,
frustrating,
stressful,
fun,
complicated,
dramatic,
busy,
and
amazing

There are so many mixed feelings about weddings in my mind. I love it. I hate it. It is so crazy. I wish I could just fast forward and be at the wedding so I can have fun and end this crazy ride. I honestly cannot wait to marry him! I can't wait to be his wife forever. I still get butterflies when I think about our life together. .I know those butterflies will eventually fade, but right now I thrive off of that feeling. I still love him when I am not feeling those butterflies, but I want to enjoy them while they last.

As of right now there are 52 days until I will be married. It is so crazy. I know people say marriage will not be all it is cracked up to be, but I think it will still be pretty great. The fact I will have someone who I can always rely on in any aspect of my life makes me so happy. The fact that I will wake up beside someone I love everyday makes me really happy. I know that I will not have that thrill forever, but that constant is what is going to be amazing, I am a creature of habit. I thrive off of certain habits and I know that getting into bed with him and waking up next to him will make me happy because of the consistent habit.

I know it will be hard. It will be hard every day, but I know I can handle it we can handle it. I have had best friends growing up, but never a friend like him. He knows all my secrets. Not even my best friend knows all my secrets. He knows my mind. He knows my body language. He knows my facial expressions. He knows when I am upset before I do. He looks after me and defends me in anyway he can.

*Intermission*

(even in my dreams) I had a dream last night about a group of friends going to a party. It was okay, but we all ended up leaving and when we were leaving everyone else was too because the party just kind of died. So we were leaving and the host was by the door and I was like "nice party.." In a very sarcastic tone. He then came out and tried to hit me. He threw a long board at me and Nick, of course defended me. He kept throwing things at me. Then at one point Nick was far away from me at the car and the host was chasing me, but I couldn't run. It was really scary, but I remember Nick getting me and helping me start running and he stayed behind and straightened things out. Then I woke up.

*End of Intermission*

I cant wait to be a married woman and have someone beside me through the rest of my life. I want to build a family and a home with him. I want him to take care of me and I want to take care of him. I want to be a team and work things out together. I want to be a unit. It will always be Nick and Emma. .That is how is should be forever. I love him. Even when I don't like him at the moment, I still love him. I will always love him.

So 52 days need to go by faster so this roller coaster can end. I an ready to be Mrs. Dorsett. I am ready to be a wife. I am ready to have a husband. And I am ready to love him for the rest of my life.